Open Hands

Wow, it's been a hot minute since I've written. Since early-August to be exact. I woke up this morning feeling the urge to write, and since I had a little bit of free time this morning (a rarity), I decided that there really is no time like the present. Finals week is racing towards me like a bullet train, much like this past semester, it's gone fast and I often find myself wishing I were five again. Last week I realized I'm closer to forty than I am to birth. Life flies by so fast.

The past three months have been hard and I'm anxious to have this semester behind me. Even in the tough day to day, maintaining a "healthy balance" of classes, friendships, relationships, work, ministry, family, Jesus time, sleeping, eating etc., the list goes on: God has been faithful, as He always is and as He will always be. 

So I have some truths that I want to remind you of today, wherever you are or whatever you're going through, these truths hold steady through all stages of life. These are things that God has graciously taught me this past semester, through the trials and in the victories.

There is power in vulnerability. I used to think (very pridefully) that being vulnerable meant being weak. Let me tell you, THIS IS NOT TRUE. You do not have to have it all together all the time. I realized that once I told my pride to take a hike and once I became willing to share with others the broken parts of myself, not only were my relationships strengthened, but my relationship with Christ grew. The pride that I carried in the day to day carried over into my relationship with Christ, but once I was ready to be vulnerable and broken with Jesus, I was more willing to share with others and they were more willing to be open with me. My pride still gets in the way everyday and it's a constant battle, but Jesus never fails to meet me where I am and He never fails to bring me to a place of complete and total surrender. 

Comparison is the thief of joy. This really rings true for me. I was (and am) so quick to compare my life to others. I ask myself all the time: "Why don't I look like her?" or "Why can't I have a relationship like theirs?" or "Why does that come so easy to her, but not to me?". I've quickly realized, comparing yourself to others is a quick and easy way to make yourself miserable. God made you. He looked at you and decided that there needed to be a "you" on this Earth. Everybody struggles. Everybody has bad days. Facebook and Instagram may make it seem otherwise, but people are people and people will struggle. Find joy in knowing that you were placed here for a reason. Find joy in knowing that there is no other you. Find joy in knowing that God will use you and your struggles and victories to further His kingdom.

Jesus loves you. This sounds really Sunday school, but it's the most real thing that God has taught me this semester. It can be a hard thing to wrap your mind around, but it is so important. He loves you with everything He has. He loves you so much that He sent his son to die for YOU. He loves you so much that he will never leave, never forsake, never abandon, even when it seems like everyone else has. He is constant when life isn't. I challenge you to start living loved. Live like you have received the greatest, most precious gift of all time, because you have. Recognizing this has changed the way I look at the trials and the joys and everything in between. The creator of the universe loves me and is using me to further His kingdom. That's big. 

I'm calling this season and the coming seasons of life the "open hands" season. It simply means that I am open to whatever God has for me, I am open to following Him to the hard places, to the happy places, to the new places and to the old places. I challenge you to live with "open hands" to what He has for you, because when we do that, we open ourselves up to wonders unknown. Wonders that can only be known if we follow Him and obey Him, even when it's hard. 

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 3:37-39.

Overwhelmed.

I always find it hard to start writing these. I usually try to start with something a little bit witty or lighthearted, but for some reason, my creative juices just aren't flowing that way today. Either way, I hope that everybody's week was great and that it was filled with great things. 

School's about to start up this week. I'm going into my junior year of college (yikes!) and needless to say, I've been a bit overwhelmed. I'm going into this semester feeling optimistic, but also discouraged and a little bit lost. I'm gonna be up front with ya'll, Satan's been on the attack these past few weeks. He placing doubt in my heart where there once was confidence. He's left me fearful of the future, where I otherwise felt peace. There's been discouragement where there was hope. I've felt irritable and on edge. I hate feeling this way, but then again who doesn't? 

I hate that I've let these doubts seep into a heart that was on the mend from past hurts and fears. 

The other night, I felt so overwhelmed that I had to go clear my head. When I'm stressed, I drive. I'm blessed to live in a place that is full of natural beauty and one of my favorite things to do is drive down the back roads with the windows down. It always clears my head. And more often than not, I drive in silence. These are the times when I talk to God about everything. The hard things and the happy things. I usually come back from these drives with a clear mind and comforted heart. 

On this particular night, it was a little bit overcast, but the sun was shining down through the clouds. You know when the sun shines through the clouds and it looks like heaven? That's what it looked like. I was once again assured of His goodness and faithfulness. He is so good and His promises are so true. 

Sometimes, when Satan's lies seep into your thinking, you've got to kick him to the curb. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of greatness and you are worthy of a life full of purpose. 

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me"

2 Corinthians 12:9

I hope that you can rest in that truth today. There is power that comes from knowing Christ. His love is great and His promises are true. My prayer is that you cling to that this week, and not to the lies that Satan attacks us with. The good news is that there has been victory over sin, and we get to rest in that victory!

Choose Joy

I know, I know. It has been a LONG time since I've written and truth be told, there's really no excuse for it. I've been meaning to, but a lot of the time my intentions fall short of becoming reality. Today, after a lot of twiddling my thumbs and the repeated suggestion from my friend that I write, I'm finally sitting down to do just that.

The reason I haven't written recently is because I've felt as if I don't have much to say. This summer has been filled with summer school (yuck), spending time with friends and family and a whole lot of down time. Even right now as I'm typing this, I don't know what I want to say. The Lord has taught me many a thing this summer. Mostly about finding contentment in this season, choosing joy every morning and trusting His good and perfect plan in all aspects of my life. And in all of this, I've felt His peace fall over me.

One of my favorite things to do is watch the sunrise. There's something so incredible about watching the dawn of a new day. I'm in a season of life right now where a lot of exciting things lie on the horizon. God has blessed me with new opportunities to look forward to and people to build relationships with. Looking forward, I'm so optimistic for the things that are ahead. I look at all of these new prospects like I look at a sunrise- with joy and thankfulness. I'm joyful because I serve a good and perfect God who makes every single day a gift because I get to live this life for Him. I'm thankful for His blessings. I'm thankful that He loves me so much more than anybody on this earth. I'm thankful that I get to love Him and know Him and adore Him.

So, I want to encourage you with something. Don't let yourself be so busy that you forget to thank Him. Slow down long enough to look around and thank Him for the ways that He has blessed you. Choose to be joyful even if you feel heavy laden because we serve an awesome, amazing, beautiful God.

I want to leave you with a verse that I've gone back to several times this summer-

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. friends. It means the world to me!

All About Charlie

This is my best friend, Charlie. She is the most inspirational, encouraging person I know. I've known her since my freshman year of high school and she has remained my most constant friend. She has a heart for people. She's always willing to listen and she gives the best advice. I couldn't imagine life without her and I wouldn't want to.

-Kristen

What I love the most about Charlie is that she isn't afraid to be heard. If she loves you, you will hear about it, if she doesn't, you will hear about it too. If your'e doing something amazing her encouragement is some powerful stuff. And if you are neglecting to write a blog post about her, you will definitely hear about it. And yet every time she makes herself heard, I am so eternally thankful to have her in my life. Such wisdom and humor in one body! What was God thinking? I still think one of the top weeks of my life was when you were here in Clemson mothering me. You are going to be the best mother ever. When I mess up my kids and feel hopeless, I know I have a best friend who can fix them. You are one of the most determined people I have ever met and I honestly think of you sometimes when I'm facing difficulty. You inspire me to try my best and not give up. I love you Char, Chuck, Charles, Princess Charlotte, Charlie.

Twenty Things.

Hi. Hello. Howdy. Long time no talk. I hope that life is treating you exceptionally well. It's been a while since I've written in this place, but I'm so glad to be back. As of 9:00 pm this Friday, my sophomore year of college will officially be over. This has been a roller coaster of a year. I decided that instead of writing a long thing about what I've learned and what the Lord has taught me (which is so much more than I could have imagined at the beginning of this year), I would write a list of 20 things that I learned (because I turned 20 during my sophomore year) over the course of this year.

1. True friends will stick with you through anything and everything. 

2. Making a bad grade or failing a class does not make you a failure or a bad person.

3. Sometimes the best things and the best people come along when you least expect it.

4. Someone that you thought would always be in your life might not be there anymore, and that's okay.

5. It's okay to eat pizza every day of the week. 

6. The weirdest people are the best.

7. Road trips make the best memories

8. Do that thing that really scares you. Sometimes it leads to the most unexpected places and to the most unexpected people. 

9. Allow others to bless you. God does great things and often speaks to you through others. Be willing to listen.

10. Always keep a friend named Jess around. She's the greatest, weirdest, most inspiring person you'll ever meet. 

11. You'll never regret spending time with Jesus. 

12. Procrastinating only makes you more stressed out. Thinking about getting a head start.

13. Don't just call your parents because your bank account is running low. Call them because you love them and want to keep them up-to-date about things going on in your life. 

14. Set goals.

15. And write to-do lists. They're really helpful when you can't keep track of your own thoughts, much less things you need to do.

16. Trusting God can be hard. but He will never give you anything that you can't handle.

17. Say thank you and mean it.

18. Keep a journal. It's cool to look back and see where you've been and compare it to where you are now.

19. Don't be afraid to try something new.

20. Don't be afraid to ask for help. People genuinely love you and care for you. Let people know when you're struggling. You don't have to deal with anything on your own. 

I'll end this by saying that this year has been incredibly hard, but also incredibly beautiful and rewarding. If I could say one thing, it is that He is faithful and He is good. Thank you for continuing to visit this place. It means the world to me. 

A Time to Reflect

Spring has sprung here in Clemson! And let me tell you, there is beauty everywhere. I love spring because with this time of year comes flowers, the end of school and new beginnings. To me, spring is stepping out of the totally mundane (winter) and into a world where the days are longer, the air is warmer and the possibilities of excitement are greater.

Spring also brings about change.

If you had asked me a year ago what my life would look like a year from now, my answer would have been completely different to what my life actually is...now. Last spring, I encountered things that were new to me. I had friends that were dealing with things that I never would have imagined having to see a friend go through. And yet, through the good and the bad, my sweet Jesus used every little thing to draw me closer to Him.

God used the situations of last year to prepare me and strengthen me for this season of life. It is so cool to see the way that He sharpens and molds us to be the people that we are. In this season and in the seasons to come. I think that this season, figuratively and literally, is the perfect time to step back and give thanks for the growth in your life. For the growth in your walk with Jesus. To give thanks for His good and perfect timing.

Of course, there is no perfect time for this, but today could be a good day to start giving thanks and to start basking in the beauty of who he is and in the beauty of who you are in Him.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

Have No Fear

Hello all! It's been a bit since I've written here. I've really wanted to write, but haven't known what to write about. Life right now is pretty steadfast and things are good. My friend, Charlie, keeps on asking me when I'm going to write again and I keep saying, "I don't know what to write about".

Today, I figured it out.

Throughout my day to day, I often find myself feeling anxious. I usually take a deep breath, tell myself to calm down, say a prayer for peace, and keep moving. Over the past few days, I've made it my mission to pinpoint the source of my anxiety. I've realized that I've been holding on to a lot of fear. I'm scared. 

My life is full of uncertainty right now. It's not a bad uncertainty. Just uncertainty about the future. Uncertainty about my career, about my relationships, about what God wants for me. And I've been holding onto fear amidst all of the uncertainty. Will I end up without a job? Will God reveal to me what He has for me so that I can greater glorify Him and grow His kingdom?

Early Sunday morning, at 3:11 a.m. to be exact. I was laying in bed, in a cold sweat, knuckles slowly turning white from clutching my pillow too hard. I was gripped, once again, with fear. God took hold of me and wrapped me in His arms and I heard Him say, "Do not be afraid, my daughter. Rest in Me and you will find peace".

Sometimes it's hard for me to trust that God's got me. It's so easy to slip back into my habit of being fearful and wanting to have total control. But, I don't have control. And time and again, God has shown me that He is faithful. He is faithful in the hard times, and He is faithful in the greatest moments. I'm totally broken and utterly wrecked, but He is always there, holding me steadfast, even when I stray.

My prayer for you would be able to give every fear to God. Only He can release the hold that they have on you. Only He can. 

I hope your week is full of the people you love and moments that bring you joy.

Until next time.